“Stand with me, human adult male, and smile into this electronic ocular device. We will wear each other’s name tags, and that will convince them of my whimsy and good cheer. Do not look directly at me.”
Nicole B. (Encore)
“I’m going to start this resignation letter two-thirds of the way down a perfectly good sheet of paper, because that’s how I roll.”
Personalized t-shirt not included.
“You have no idea how long it took me to draw these letters on my shirt this perfectly. No idea.”
“Attendant! I believe I asked for a refill!”
“I like my coffee like I like my work environment: inscrutable, bitter, and finished by eleven.”
WINNER: Chris O’N.
“Why do I need a caption? I just won.”
Runner-Up: Dave K.
“Now I can write by just slamming my head onto the desk and inclining it slightly one way or the other. The stress ball will cushion the impact. So much easier!”
“Have a spin! No refunds.”
Jenna H. (Encore)
“This means I get two paychecks, right? Yes? That’s legal. That’s a legal thing. I get two paychecks now.”
Honorable Mention: Jenna H.
“So this is better than the shaved-head look? Because I can go back to that.”